I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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