Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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