Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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