You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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