He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
