I'm gonna have a badass scar
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
