i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize