That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
