she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
