My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
