the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
