I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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