I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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