We're facebook friends in real life
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
