What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
