Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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