Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
