I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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