I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
