i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She bit a glass in half.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
