You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
