Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Even my vagina gasped.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
