As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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