you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
