We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
