she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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