My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
