I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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