Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
