It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
