This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
