I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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