So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
