He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
