Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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