Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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