Christians are straight up FREAKS
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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