Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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