Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
