well most of my day revolves around power hour
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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