i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
