you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
