I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
