She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
