I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
