living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
