i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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