If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
