im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
