I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
