Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
