That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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