We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
