you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
