Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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