All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
