that's an acceptable place to lick
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
