Got a toothbrush?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
