Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
