So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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