He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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