You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
