is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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